Defying Gravity

In an act of learning to love myself, I stepped out and treated myself to one of the things that I rarely get a chance to do, go to the theater. A national tour production of the musical "Wicked" was in town and after hearing so many rave reviews about it when it was on Broadway, I knew I had to see it for myself. Needless to say the performance was awesome. It had all of the things that I love and enjoy about musicals; music, dancing,elaborate costumes, and intricate sets. The play was all I expected and more. Almost 2 months later there is one scene and song that still resonates with me. It's the scene at the end of Act I when Elphaba b.k.a the Wicked Witch of the West is on the run, after being persecuted by the Wizard and made the target of all bad things that happen in Oz. After embracing her powers, Elphaba decides to embrace her put upon persona as wicked and "Defy Gravity." As she is lifted to the sky she belts in a breathless bravado "...nothing's going to bring me down." Even weeks later the scene is still stuck in my head and often times I have caught myself humming the tune or running to look it up on YouTube just to relive the moment. (It's even better with Idina Menzel the original Elphaba). In re watching the scene, the song has grown to have a more personal meaning for me. For awhile now in my life I have felt so grounded. There's a feeling inside of me that there is a world out there that I am not being a part of. I see so many people around me doing things, pursuing their dreams and I want a part of it. But for some reason I'm paralyzed. Paralyzed by fear. Self doubt. Insecurity. Lack of money. Lack of means to go after the things I want. I'm ready for all of that to change. I'm seeking that day when I can take to the sky and defy gravity. Leaving all the nay sayers and dream killers on the ground and have them watch in awe as I embrace the powers and gifts that God has instilled within me. I can empathize with the character of Elphaba, knowing that I have what it takes to be somebody but not knowing how to use it. At30 it feels like it's too late to start something new. Or to go after the dreams you still dream. Often it feels like they are just fading away. I read a quote tonight that said "

A Man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams. (John Barrymore)

but I won't let that be so in my life. I'm fighting my regrets and holding fast to my dreams. And remembering to Defy GRAVITY.